Few years ago when I got divorced the world around me seemed dark and unfriendly. I felt like there is nothing to look forward to. I always felt like crying, and sometimes the tears were hard to stop. I was experiencing unusual aches and pains, had persistent negative thoughts, had difficulty concentrating and I was sensing guilt and worthlessness and had become very pessimistic and my future looked blank.
My marriage to my ex husband was a big mistake. Even though I was warned by my family members, I wanted to go ahead with it. Most of them had doubts about him but I wanted to marry him at any cost. Maybe this is what is called "Love is blind". I had come to UK for higher studies, originally being from Pakistan. I met my ex when he was in UK on a business visit. After my marriage to him there was not a single day in my life when I did not cry. We got married in Pakistan and he accompanied me to UK as my dependent. We hardly lived together for six months and he wanted to proceed to USA as he did not like this country. He was always at home, sitting and chatting with girls on computer. I still did not complain. I always thought that everything would be alright one day. Then one day he said to me that he has got a Job in USA and he is leaving and would be in touch with me on phone and net and once he got a house there he would call me. He left for USA and his attitude towards me started changing day by day. He was ignoring my calls and was behaving very rudely and also mentioned that he made a mistake by marrying me. I asked him for reason and he gave all lame excuses like there is no understanding between us etc etc.,
During this time I also came to learn that he was already married to a lady in Pakistan and that he is used to gambling. I still did not want to leave him or take divorce from him. I was very much scared of this word "divorce".
I prayed to Allah that he should stop this divorce and make my ex come back to me. Everyone one was telling me to get rid of him but I did not have to courage to do so. I was already in my early thirties and with the label of "divorcee" I was sure that nobody would accept me and would be left all alone. I remember that it was month of ramzan, I fasted, prayed all night and when I got up in the morning I received a phone call from my mom that my ex has sent divorce notice by post. I was completely shattered. I kept on thinking that why did allah not listen to my prayers. My mother kept telling me that there must be something good in it. Everything happens because of a reason and Allah knows better. I kept crying and was very upset the whole day.
As I could not sleep that night I was getting up again and again and was very disturbed. I was raising my hands and asking allah for help and was calling allah allah all the time. Then all of a sudden I remembered that my mother had gifted me quran with translation and explanation a year ago and asked me to read it regularly so that I can find some comfort in it. Then I just got up from bed performed wadhu and simply picked up the Quran and opened a page. And in front of me was these ayahs from surah talaq the translation of which is as follows:
My marriage to my ex husband was a big mistake. Even though I was warned by my family members, I wanted to go ahead with it. Most of them had doubts about him but I wanted to marry him at any cost. Maybe this is what is called "Love is blind". I had come to UK for higher studies, originally being from Pakistan. I met my ex when he was in UK on a business visit. After my marriage to him there was not a single day in my life when I did not cry. We got married in Pakistan and he accompanied me to UK as my dependent. We hardly lived together for six months and he wanted to proceed to USA as he did not like this country. He was always at home, sitting and chatting with girls on computer. I still did not complain. I always thought that everything would be alright one day. Then one day he said to me that he has got a Job in USA and he is leaving and would be in touch with me on phone and net and once he got a house there he would call me. He left for USA and his attitude towards me started changing day by day. He was ignoring my calls and was behaving very rudely and also mentioned that he made a mistake by marrying me. I asked him for reason and he gave all lame excuses like there is no understanding between us etc etc.,
During this time I also came to learn that he was already married to a lady in Pakistan and that he is used to gambling. I still did not want to leave him or take divorce from him. I was very much scared of this word "divorce".
I prayed to Allah that he should stop this divorce and make my ex come back to me. Everyone one was telling me to get rid of him but I did not have to courage to do so. I was already in my early thirties and with the label of "divorcee" I was sure that nobody would accept me and would be left all alone. I remember that it was month of ramzan, I fasted, prayed all night and when I got up in the morning I received a phone call from my mom that my ex has sent divorce notice by post. I was completely shattered. I kept on thinking that why did allah not listen to my prayers. My mother kept telling me that there must be something good in it. Everything happens because of a reason and Allah knows better. I kept crying and was very upset the whole day.
As I could not sleep that night I was getting up again and again and was very disturbed. I was raising my hands and asking allah for help and was calling allah allah all the time. Then all of a sudden I remembered that my mother had gifted me quran with translation and explanation a year ago and asked me to read it regularly so that I can find some comfort in it. Then I just got up from bed performed wadhu and simply picked up the Quran and opened a page. And in front of me was these ayahs from surah talaq the translation of which is as follows:
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